News 28 September 2016
Author: CJ

9 things that lasted longer than Sam Allardyce as England manager

Author CJ
28 September 2016

With the FA and Sam Allardyce mutually agreeing to part ways on Tuesday evening, Sam Allardyce officially became the shortest-serving England manager in history.

Below we take a look at 9 things which lasted longer than Big Sam’s reign…some of which are genuine…(and some perhaps slightly exaggerated.)

The Chilean Miners being underground

To kick things off, we know Sam Allardyce is used to digging deep with some of the Premier League clubs he has managed, but it is unlikely he has ever dug as deep as the level of 33 miners in 2010, who ended up stuck and living underground in Chile after an accident.

They were trapped for 69 days. Big Sam lasted 67 days…

GRM Daily

Kim Kardashian’s marriage to Kris Humphries

It feels weird now to imagine Kim K being romanced by anyone other than Kanye West, but not so long ago she was marrying NBA star Kris Humphries. This however didn’t quite stand the test of time, as Kim ended things with the baller after just 72 days.

GRM Daily

“One Dance”

You will do very well to find a song played more on the radio and in the clubs than Drake’s “One Dance” was this summer. Let’s be fair, the tune did bang, so it was no surprise to see it remain in the charts for so long. What was a surprise however, was seeing it last so long at number one (15 weeks) especially as it was Drizzy’s first ever UK number one.

Stormzy’s hairline

We know Stormzy, aka Big Mike, has been in the grime scene for a minute now. What we didn’t expect however was the mad quick rate in which his hairline would vanish. It feels like only yesterday the Wicked Skengman was sporting hair… All jokes aside though, we love you Stormz <3

An Episode of Power

Let’s face it, every man and his girl is glued to this series right now. With all the action and drama that goes on every episode, plus the gas of watching Angie just being Angie, it feels like this is a show that finishes far too quickly. Let’s be fair to Big Sam, he definitely lasted longer than an hour… but he is no Angela Valdez.

The Titanic

You can make a lot of similarities and metaphors between the Titanic and Allardyce’s reign as England manager. Ultimately both will go down in history forever, more fittingly though, once things started to look bad, and I mean really bad, both sunk damn well quickly.

Team Brexit’s promises

Remember that promise of £350 million going back into the NHS if we left Europe? Yea, neither do we. That’s because almost immediately after it was announced that the majority of the country had voted to leave the EU, Nigel Farage started backtracking in the slimy sort of manner that only a politician could do.

Usain Bolt’s 100 metre time

Ok so it might sound like we are taking it a step too far with this one, but we do think in any context, a race involving Big Sam and Usain will only lead to one winner.

iPhone Battery life

Anyone who has had an iPhone will know the pain that comes with trying to maintain your battery life. It’s something we have come to accept is part and parcel of having an iPhone. We try to do what we can to save our battery, but to no avail. Sadly for Sam Allardyce, his England life seemed pretty identical to an iPhone 6.

…At least this time he wasn’t charged.