Picture the settings – you’ve just opened the 22nd window in your advent calendar (thanks Mumzy), and the little kid inside you is starting to buss shapes because it’s only a few days until the mad ting. Even better, you’ve eyed up a couple of boxes under the tree that have your name it, and are slyly optimistic that your rich aunty has wired some money through because those boxes are feeling kinda Air-Max-a-licious. Damn, this time of the year feels good.
All of a sudden, a vibration on your sidephone, then another. The first text: “U still down for tomo?”. The second: “U btr have got me suttin u know…”.The side ting is demanding her xmas gift, and all you’re thinking is “kmt” “ffs”, “low a man”, but all you reply is “course course x.”
So it’s the 22nd December and you’re trapped, because you know that if you don’t get this right she’s gonna spill all the beans to the real wifey, but that sorting this will take time and effort you can’t really be arsed to make. This was my situation last year, so guys, and girls, let me give you a few suggestions of how to overcome.
My first suggestion is to go down the “I’m taking you somewhere next week” route. This one has got a couple of benefits. First of all, you can say it’s a surprise AKA not sort it until after Christmas, and therefore continue chillaxing and playing FIFA online for the time being. Next up, by the time you do have to do something (probably Nando’s), that Christmas money has rolled in, and so you can actually fork out for the mains with sides. The bad news is you run a 50% chance of being clocked for both of these things, and may end up in worse trouble than you started.
So you may want to consider a physical gift. The key with these is to give something that is nice, but doesn’t make it seem like you want them to be your bride (or husband, this stuff goes both ways). Reasonably priced perfume? Ok. Engraved necklace? Under no circumstances. I would say plain earrings are also a decent shout, but you can expect those to get ripped swiftly outta there if your main ting ever finds out, so proceed with caution.
The last option on the table is a sentiment gift, aka a Christmas mixtape. The good thing is, it’s quick and free (I banged mine out on iTunes in 25 minutes), but actually seems like you care. On top of that, if they start fuming about no money being spent, you’ve got the “but I put so much thought into it” card, which in my experience is effective. On top of that, if you get the tune selection right (as tempting as it is, 67 probably isn’t what’s required here) you can influence how events pan out for the following half hour or so…. If you get me 😉
Happy Christmas everyone, and good luck.