News 20 November 2016
Author: Trudy Barry

A news channel reckons Donald Trump was born in Pakistan

Author Trudy Barry
20 November 2016

This is so mad. A news channel has claimed that President-elect, Donald Trump, was in fact born in Waziristan, a mountain region in North West Pakistan.

Yeah, that’s right, rather than the story we all know about the Republican being New Jersey born and raised, this new info claims that he in fact spent the first part of his life as Dawood Ibrahim Khan and was raised as a Muslim.

The exact year that Trump was born has varied with some claiming that he was born in 1946 and some saying it was actually 1956, but that would make Donald 60, and who lies about being ten years older? The story then goes that Donald’s parents were killed in a car crash and he was brought to London to be put in care, before being adopted and relocating to New Jersey. Okay then.

The news went viral after reputable Pakistani news channel Neo News reported the story as being 100% facts, however it was later revealed that their only sources were… Twitter. Regardless of the dodge researching, the news has picked up traction with news agencies across the world with even British publications like the Mirror reporting on it.

Obviously this story is bullsh-t, but it could explain why Trump has such a vendetta against Muslims. Could this all just be a case of internalised self hatred and he’s taking America along for the ride?