News 14 December 2016
Author: Trudy Barry

I’ve Got A Mate Volume 4: Asexuals & Gay bars

Author Trudy Barry
14 December 2016

I’ve Got A Mate is your new go-to place for all advice love/sex/relationship related. If you’ve got a mate who’s having issues, drop us a tweet with the hashtag #AskTrudy, but don’t expect the response you want to hear.

Dear Trudy,

I’ve got a mate who recently went on a date with a girl he met in a club. Things had been calm when they met and she was playing hard to get which he liked. They texted for like three weeks until she eventually agreed to go on a date. Date was sick and he was thinking she might be wifey material…

Then at the end of the night he tried to kiss her and she springs on him that she’s asexual! So this chick is into relationships but don’t want no sex, not even kissing. Not just with him but with anyone. She buff though and she still texting him. What should he do? She might change her mind, you know.

Mate, dead it. If someone doesn’t want to have sex with your mate, don’t matter how much he wants it, it ain’t gonna happen. To be honest the whole ‘I’m asexual I don’t have sex with no one’ could technically be true but it’s a long shot. Chances are gal used your boy for a free dinner then come up with an excuse to get out of lipsing. Sounds mad but females are slick, init.

Regardless of the reason she’s not f-cking him. Don’t matter how buff she is or how much she texts your boy, if your boy isn’t getting any then she aint wife. Might as well be one of the mandem.

Dear Trudy,

I’ve got a mate who’s been dating this girl she met off Tinder. She’s bi but hasn’t been out with a girl in time. First few dates have gone good but they’ve always been on the weekend. Now she’s invited my girl out to G-A-Y on Thursday… Basically my mate is in her mid 20s and has got a high-level office job. She can’t be rocking in smelling of Sambuca and covered in glitter, but at the same time doesn’t want to come across boring. What should she do?

Hang on a minute, did you say mid 20s or mid 80s?! Come on man what’s happening in the world when a chick is questioning going out on a school night? Has your girl ever heard of Thirsty Thursday? Or that Thursday is the new Friday? Regardless, your mate is young and these are the times when you’re
meant to go out and get smashed on a weekday, then roll into work the next day looking a state. It’s basically a rite of passage to be on the borderline of getting fired at all times when you’re that age.

End of the day, your mate isn’t going to be hitting up G-A-Y or Heaven when she’s 60, and if she is then it’s a bit sad. Tell her to buck up, put some make up on and leave anything valuable at home because it’s time to get turnt.