News 19 January 2017
Author: Trudy Barry

I’ve Got A Mate Volume 8: Sex tape leaks & ghosts

Author Trudy Barry
19 January 2017

I’ve Got A Mate is your go-to place for all advice love/sex/relationship related. If you’ve got a mate who’s having issues, drop us a tweet with the hashtag #AskTrudy, but don’t expect the response you want to hear.

Dear Trudy


I’ve got a mate who really needs your help. Sh-t has hit the fan big time. So she’s got a man and she loves him, but there’s just something inside her that just means she can’t stay faithful. She might be a sex addict, I dunno, but every guy she’s ever had she’s cheated on. Its nothing to do with the guy she’s with, she just can’t keep it in her pants.


Anyway, she’s been linking this guy for a couple years and his mandem told her gyaldem that he’s thinking of popping the question. She’s gassed that someone would want to marry her, but here’s the ting – her ex just dropped their sex tape on Snapchat! Basically she cheated on her ex and now he’s got word she’s about to get her happy ending he aint having it, so he posted this video of her giving uck.


All our mates have seen the vid already so it’s only a matter of time till it reaches her man. What should she do? She don’t want to lose this one.


Alright so, first off, yeah your girl’s ex is a c-nt for posting that video. That’s proper snaky behavior, no doubt about it. But at the same time, honestly I reckon your mate deserves to get dumped. Sorry but it’s true. No one deserves to have their tings put on blast like that but what’s all this “she can’t keep in her pants” nonsense?


I bet your girl thinks she’s acting like badass bitch with that kind of attitude but at the end of the day, when a man treats a girl like that we give him hell. You can’t excuse cheating by being like “lol, soz, that’s just me”.


Here’s the truth: your mate is going to get shifted. It’s just reality. What she needs to do then is go give her ex a slap for exposing her online like that, then start working on being faithful and maybe these kind of repercussions won’t happen again.

Dear Trudy


I’ve got a mate who’s been seeing this girl for about two months. They were friends before and the vibes grew until they started seeing each other. At first she was well keen, asking to see him like three times a week and always texting him first. But over the last couple weeks her replies have been more and more stush, and the last couple times he asked her to hang out she’s made excuses. He feels like she’s getting less interested and is just replying to be polite. What can he say to get her back on the same page?


Alright, I can tell you one thing with certainty: the more texts your mates sends, the less this girl will reply. It’s cold but it’s true. It’s probably nothing that he’s done (although you never know…), but sometimes people’s feelings change and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. You simply can’t force someone to like you. Admittedly being ghosted is a pretty sh-tty thing to go through but can your mate honestly say he’s never done the same to some next girl? If she isn’t feeling the vibe, there’s no amount of messages your boy can send that’s going to change that and he’s just going to make himself look like a bunny boiling pr-ck in the process.


Sounds like this one is a goner mate, have some dignity and move on.


Top tip for dealing with ghosts: delete their number. Then you have no option but to wait for their text. If you’re too gassed to even consider losing their digits for good, give them to a trustworthy friend to keep safe – and locked away.