News 26 January 2017
Author: Trudy Barry

I’ve Got A Mate Volume 9: Bad sex & freaky chicks

Author Trudy Barry
26 January 2017

I’ve Got A Mate is your new go-to place for all advice love/sex/relationship related. If you’ve got a mate who’s having issues, drop us a tweet with the hashtag #AskTrudy, but don’t expect the response you want to hear.

Dear Trudy


I’ve got a mate who’s been with her man for a few months. Things aren’t even serious yet but already she can feel the spark fading! She’s used to going out with d-ckhead rudeboys and this guy is legit and treats her right. When they first started dating they would f-ck all the time and it was amazing, now she’s lucky if he doesn’t fall asleep before she even gets undressed. And when they do have sex it’s so dead. Quick in-out ting and then it’s over. She really likes this guy but sex is too important to her. Is she destined to only date rudeboys for their good peen?


Look, it’s a well known fact that rudeboys are the best in bed. Do you wanna know why they’re so good? Because they f-ck different girls every night. Rudeboys have so much sex that they have well and truly perfected their technique. Yeah everyone is a unique snowflake blah blah blah, but at the end of the day, if you practice enough, you’re gonna get good at something. You get me?


What your mate needs to work out is if dead sex is really a deal breaker for her. Trust me, for a lot a girls it is so she shouldn’t feel bad about having sexual urges. Sounds like this guy is a good catch though so maybe what she needs to do is actually talk to the yute and maybe he’ll up his game. Just take this one bit of advice: don’t fall in love with good d-ck, because they’re usually attached to idiots.



Dear Trudy,


I’ve got a mate who’s got a problem, which doesn’t sound like a problem, but has turned into a problem for him. Alright so basically, he’s started going out with this freaky chick. She’s mad confident and that’s why he likes her, but basically she’s getting a bit too much for him!


These two have started a proper relationship ting, like he wants her to meet his mum and sh-t but he can’t take her anywhere without her wanting to bang. Other day they were in Nandos and she tried going down on him under the table! I know it sounds like most guys fantasies but honestly this chick is getting too much. He likes her and she’s peng but how can he get her to calm down?


Huh!?!? What is happening in the world? Both questions this week are about men not being able to step up. You said it yourself, your boy has just accomplished most people’s dream relationship.


I get that ~ maybe ~ if he’s in a bait spot your mate doesn’t want to be caught with his d-ck in his hand (literally), but honestly he needs to just get over it. Tell him to man up and have some fun. Christ. No sympathy. Next.