I’ve Got A Mate is your new go-to place for all advice love/sex/relationship related. If you’ve got a mate who’s having issues, drop us a tweet with the hashtag #AskTrudy, but don’t expect the response you want to hear.
Dear Trudy
I’ve got a mate who’s having a trust dilemma with her man. They’ve only been together a couple months but things have got serious relatively quickly. She makes sure to go get tested at the clinic regularly and she’s never had nothing.
She went to the clinic last week and has just got a call saying she’s got chlamydia. Honestly she’s gutted and doesn’t know who she got it from but to be honest she doesn’t really care about that, what she cares about is how she’s gonna tell her man without him ditching her?
Okay yeah this is an awks situation but your mate is lucky because sexual health clinics are actually super helpful when it comes to this. Obviously in an ideal world your mate would tell her man face to face and they’d handle it together like adults. Unfortunately this ain’t a movie and the mandem move unpredictably.
What she can do though is request that the clinic contacts her man (and any other guys she’s banged) and anonymously informs him that he’s probably got it. Then, it’s up to him what he does. He could tell her face-to-face or she could get another anonymous phone call back. But if she ends up not hearing anything from this situation it means this guy’s chose not to let her know when he could literally do it with no repercussions, and that’s fucked up.
Dear Trudy
I’ve got a mate who’s having trust issues with his girl. They’ve been together since college and have always been mad strong. In September she went up north to go uni but he stayed in the ends, that was fine though because she’d come back a lot of weekends and they talked on the phone and that. When she come back for Christmas though she started acting all distant and weird and she ain’t been back down to visit him since. He’s pretty sure she must be cheating, but how can he prove it?
It’s possible that your mate’s girl is just trying to have the best uni experience possible and you can’t do that if you’re traveling back to your hometown every weekend. If this is the case then your boy has to back off a bit and let her grow, otherwise she gonna be an 18-year-old from the ends forever. He should take the opportunity to do the same and then maybe they can grow together.
Of course there is always the possibility that she is doing something dirty and hiding it from him. If he’s still suspicious here’s what he should do: surprise his girl by visiting her up north and really try to get to know her whole scene. She’ll either be happy to show you around or she her scheming will come to the surface.